Yesterday I was holding a coaching call with an amazing client. The purpose of the call was to strategize on how to build her business online, but somewhere, the conversation took a turn.
At one point in our call, she expressed a fear that she might never be happy all because someone she looked up to told her so years ago. That stuck with me and I decided to make a Facebook post to inquire what advice our followers would give this woman.
The response was amazing and full of fantastic insight. Today, I am pasting all of their responses for you to learn from:
she can always choose to go back to that moment and re-play those words to: ‘I will always be happy, it is my choice’, she can then practice that as a daily affirmation… when you believe you have the choice (really believe it at your core) you can feel happy and life tends to shift into being happy (perhaps because you ‘envision’ happy instead of experiencing the constant struggle that comes with ‘seeking’)
can she be happy with herself? And love herself? Something I learned and now share with others I work with of all ages is if you can’t love yourself, how will you let another love you. I also agree with Angela Schaefers above, it’s all about making choices, and choosing to be happy.
The truth is…we ARE always seeking. If we are not seeking, we are stagnant and that never serves us or anyone else. We are always seeking the next higher level of spiritual understanding so that we might gain insight and enlightenment as to who we are and why we are here. Your client was handed the information that she “would never be happy” and rather than consider and disbelieve it, she chose to adopt the belief as her own. THIS is the mistake too many make. I encourage her to dismiss THAT false belief and develop truths of her very own. Her happiness is exclusively dependent upon her ability to tap into her Quiet Center and hear the Voice of her Authentic Self…her one and true Spiritual Self. The Voice of that Guidance will never lead her astray. It will ALWAYS and FOREVER lead her towards the Purpose in life for which she was created to fulfill. NO other individual has been Assigned to her Assignment. Only she. So…. the choice is hers and only hers. If she needs additional information, Amber, send her my way. Love you, sweetie pie!
Understand that is a choice to make the decision to move past it. Sounds easy I know, but its completely true. Once she chooses to move on, it will feel easier. She may have to choose it daily or even hourly until it feels right, but the conscious choice to decide is the first step. Plus, understanding that we see in others what we have in ourselves helps. Then maybe she can understand the “source” of that comment…perhaps that was about the person who made that comment and not about her.
the act of seeking happiness is the problem. happiness is attainable by excepting life as it is now and seeing the beauty in the imperfections all around. also – the concept of seeking happiness suggests that we must continue looking hard to find it and also that it lies outside ourselves, both which are untrue.
I think Dawn hit all the main points. But I’d like to support those points from another perspective. First, some people eventually find that happiness is not a state which can be maintained, but contentedness is; this perspective has been found and supported by just as many philosophers and psychologists as spiritualists.
Second, I think that if your client’s “friend” was trying to be honest, the friend may have been referring to his or her own frustration with seeking. Many people do not seek for one reason or another, and yet they seem continually happy – I think this a veil. Many people who do seek are overwhelmed by the urge to act, and are stifled by others who are afraid. But once they leap, and the net appears, this second group gets to know many of life’s greatest rewards: the joy of helping others, feeling uniquely valuable and valued, achievement and accomplishment. Still, this high is not a constant, it is the result of constant effort.
My advice for your client would be quite similar to Dawn’s: learn to silence the worldly noises which would try to drown out her wiser, inner voice. This is the only voice which understand your hopes and dreams and wants you to make them real. Then dream, believe, achieve.
Happiness happens in the present moment. If a person can let go of the past and stop worrying about the future, that person can find happiness, and even joy, right now. I would tell her to try practicing being in the now. It’s not easy but it’s really all there is. There’s no need to seek when we really get that.
WRONG! Everyone CAN be happy, but it’s about BEING happy, not SEEKING it. I watched a number years ago an Oprah show (I know), and this family left America for months to live with an African tribe. As they were leaving the WHOLE family was crying about leaving, and the tribe had very little to live on, but were happy.
Well, I would ask her if she has a child or has a good friend? If so, what would she tell that person if they told her “someone told me many, many years ago that I would never find happiness and that I would always be seeking happiness?” We do not know the context in which the comment (or curse) was made but, at the end of the day all these years later she has accepted this curse. She alone has the power to put the comment behind her and stop embracing it as if it were a fact. Perhaps she is using this as a means not to be the brave and courage person she knows she can be but, is just afraid. When we keep our power down because of something someone said or did…years ago or yesterday…we are allowing words to stop us. It might be an excuse…but, it is something she can overcome with a quick change in her thinking. She sounds awesome and I am sure she will step beyond this in no time!!! Just my two cents of course!!!
I would tell her to hit the ‘override’ button. I got those same messages over and over and over as a child and now, as an adult. My solution? Every time that garbage shows up, hit the ‘override button.’
She needs to rewrite her story. The beautiful part about life is that YOU get to choose how to live out the rest of your life. Have the courage to move beyond those limiting beliefs that are keeping you “stuck”. You deserve to live the greatness that is inside of you. Find it and own it! xx
“Nothing can make you happy because happiness is really a feeling – happiness is something that you experience. If you want to be happy – then be happy. But most people don’t choose to be happy because they spend most of their time focusing on what is wrong with their life, doing something they don’t enjoy doing and never really allowing themselves to truly experience happiness.”By Karim Hajee …….something to think about to help determine!
What is your insight?
If you would like to discuss what you are experiencing further, I invite you to ask me a private question here. If you experienced a similar challenge, I’d love for you to share your story here so we can all learn from it.
If you thought this article was helpful, then chances are it will help others too. Help me share this message by clicking the Facebook, Google+ or Twitter buttons below. Thank you for your support!