Today’s post is directed at all you busy-bees out there who are working hard to get ahead, or be noticed, or fulfill your newly set 2011 goals. I’m such such a busy bee and always have been. Ok, well, I guess I’ll rephrase and say I have been for the past 10 years. I wanted to create a space for you to slow down and remember what’s most important…
I’ll start by reminding you that I’ve been challenged and I’ve been tested to the max – a few times. I remember once in my life, laying in a park when it was pitch-black outside… staring up at the stars, crying thinking “this is rock bottom”. I remember sitting in front of my doctor after weeks of testing for her to hint that I may or may not have cancer, we needed to do one more test, and I’d know in 45 days…
You could blame it on the divorce I got three years ago, you could blame it on the economy crashing, but either way, I found myself in a situation where I had to double my income overnight to keep up with my mortgage payments and not fall behind financially. It was scary, intense and a little exciting too.
In the past several years of my life, I’ve been able to really test what I’m capable of. It brings a nice little smile to my face… and only I can identify what that smile means.
I want to stress that we become who we are by growing through these “rock-bottom” times. When we are at that point of no return, broken, scared, alone… that is when there is no where else to go but up. What does “up” even mean? Well, it means we can make ANYTHING we want to out of it.
Some people stay down and sulk. They drink, they cry, they implode. Others sit with the pain awhile until it no longer serves them. Then by chance a sign comes along and piece by piece, their identity gets rebuilt. Ah, what an encouraging time it can be.
When I reflect back on all these moments where I felt most “not myself” I see one constant. One thing that remains by my side no matter what trouble I get myself into, no matter what success I create for myself – no. matter. what. – and that is my family and friends.
I’ve worked a long time to surround myself with people that really understand me (and want to), that love me when I rant, and love me when I make a fool of myself, and love me when I have a laughing fit and have tears streaming down my face because I can’t stop. It is so important to surround yourself with people that genuinely get you and allow you to be you without judgment. It took a long time to get this small circle of people around me and I ain’t lettin’ them go.
Want to know how I did it? I started getting picky. I put myself in situations to meet people and allowed myself to be open to new friendships in new circles. If my friend started behaving in a way that was not in alignment with who I was or who I wanted to be I stopped putting myself in that situation often. I was not cruel or mean – I just started to spend more time with the people that were in alignment with where I was. Before I knew it, I had incredible people in my inner circle!
Since then I find ways to constantly show them how important they are in my life. I listen when they need it, I write little cards to express my gratefulness for them, I call out of the blue to say hi. It’s all so easy too when you genuinely care for someone. It’s just like a plant – if you water it, it grows. The same is true with friends and family.
I want to send with a little whisper in your ear… that if everything is going well in your life, you may have not reached out to your friends and family as much – this is normal – but today I would invite you to make a little time to tell those you care about, just how much they mean to you. It’s time again.