In my previous post, “What I Am SO Grateful For – Part One” I shared my pre-Thanksgiving amazing journey through the powers of karma and intention. It was amazing! So many WONDERFUL things have happened since then. This post now transitions into what I’m grateful for in general in this time of my life, and why.
This Thanksgiving was by far the best I’ve ever had. For the first time “outsiders” weren’t welcome for our Thanksgiving. We have always opened our home to anyone that we knew that didn’t have a place to go for Thanksgiving. My mom had the idea this year that we would have a “family-only” meal. We were all a little curious about this decision and feeling even a little uneasy. When we all came together on the day, we all bowed down in gratitude for this decision. We got it.
All the members in my mom’s family (we only had 10 people at dinner that night – compared to our usual 20 or more) seemed to be in a solid place in their life. I can tell you every time I’ve come to Thanksgiving in the past few years I was either battling a heavy health issue, a heavy work issue, or a heavy life change. This year, it was just light and “right”. The other members of my family were in the same spot! So when we came together the room was just filled with this buzz, this lightness. There was nothing to stop us from just being together and having a great time. How rare that is!!
What I was most grateful for during this time has to do with my older sister Kim. We have never been close and the distance in our relationship has ALWAYS bothered me. I tried and tried when I was younger to patch things – I can’t even tell you what was off. My best guess is that we were always in such different places in our lives that we wouldn’t really ever connect. When I was a negative depressed teen, she was the straight A student, had tons of friends, etc. When I started to get my life together, she started to get lost. We just kept missing each other for whatever reason. I hoped that some day we would get closer and left it up to the Universe.
During this trip home, we FINALLY connected. After all these years… after a lifetime of being different. It was AMAZING everyone. We talked, we hugged and it felt so right. I *wanted* to hear her stories and she wanted to hear mine. There was an understanding that I’ve never felt before with her. I am so deeply grateful for this chance to get to know her.
When I finally left Tucson, 3 days later, I was on top of the world. Normally when I leave home I feel this deep sadness – I don’t want to leave, I’m not ready to go back to reality. This time I was totally recharged and ready to go home and rock! This all means so much more to me than I could ever relay – I just see my life unfolding. All the pain and heartache from the past… it’s healed and the “reasoning” behind it all is crystal clear. I feel whole and healthy and happy!
Now, all this said, for every high there is an equal and opposite low. So I know tough times are ahead, and they always will be. BUT, the key point here is how I’m handling the present happiness. Well, I’m soaking up every single ounce of happiness I can. I’m staying fully present each day. When I feel stress come on, I think “why am I stressed?” Well, I’m stressed because of what COULD happen in the future (not meeting a deadline for example). I then realize, that’s dumb. So I focus on staying present and the stress completely melts away. Also by staying present, I’m soaking up the good times into my memory bank even more. I’m having a BLAST you guys! I haven’t had so much fun consecutively, ever!
So I just had to share all of this with you. I’m making friends, my existing friends are AMAZING people. I’ve completely surrounded myself with the best people who fill me up and LIFT me up. I stopped being around people that held me back or made me feel small. I don’t want to be in that place ever again. Who is it really serving? Certainly not me, and this is my life. I cant’ explain what really caused this shift into an even higher level of awareness than I was in before, but it’s an amazing place to be. All of the work we do on ourselves TRULY DOES PAY OFF.