You already know exactly what I’m talking about. I don’t have to tell you what “confrontation” means.
I’ll start by admitting to you all that I think confrontation is one of the most difficult things to do, for me. It would be so easy for some people to shove the past under the rug, move on, write it off – but not for me. Some say we have a “contract” with ourselves before we come to live on this planet. A contract we must fulfill or we come back and do it again until we get it right. I don’t think I believe in all that, but if it is true, then my biggest feat is to stand up for myself, confront my fears and stand in alignment. Strong, honest, pure.
When I have to confront something (usually a someONE), my body has this awful reaction that I’d give anything to turn off. I just feel completely smothered by fear. At the same time though, something sort of magical happens. This tiny piece of me deep in gut feels stronger than steel. It’s as if my outer-body (for lack of better words) is all in fear about “what if this happens” or “what if that happens”…but my inner-self just knows it is right to confront, heal and move on. As if I will be protected no matter what happens. And you know what? I’ve had to confront enough things to know that’s exactly the way it works.
Ok, another way of looking at it for you less-spiritual people (absolutely no offense there by the way – I have one parent that is spiritual and one that is not – I’m a part of both sides somehow)… In previous posts I’ve spoken of what to listen to when making a decision. Never listen to your mind because it just assumes the worst and asks you “what if” questions. Your heart can make very emotional decisions – not always the right ones for “you”. So I suggest you listen to your gut.
Keeping with this example, the “outer-body” is your mind. Your mind is so powerful it can convince you of anything!! You can totally psych yourself out and go a different direction in the last minute because your mind loves to win. So annoying. The “inner-self” – that I said “just knows” – think of that as your intuition or gut instinct. It’s always right if you listen to it enough to see the pattern I’ve seen.
When we end up having that confrontational moment (oh, I know them sooo well) it is about as scary as it gets – for me. I hope one day, after confronting enough experiences that I grow out of that fear. If not, at least I’ll continue to believe it’s only temporary. I am not one that can hide from confrontation either. Some can go a whole lifetime by avoiding that person or that place – that, I don’t understand. For me, a certain time lapses where I’m able to heal but then one day (just as I start to get comfortable again) the person shows up in my life or that experience slaps me in the face again somehow.
That is my sign, it’s time to move on. Enough of holding grudges, or thinking it went down this or that way – the only thing left to do is confront it, heal and move on.
By the way, if you’re wondering, the “confront, heal, move on” bit is the way it has happened for me every single time. Which also brings comfort in the way I choose to deal with confrontation.
My word of wisdom? As my mom always said, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” This is also similar to her words, “No Guts No Glory” which turned into my company name. I open up to this degree in hopes that my go-get-em’ness transfers to one of you and you too will be able to confront whatever it is that’s in the back of your mind.
No time like the present.