Read my latest personal growth message posted as an expert author on the Conscious Divas website. Below is a teaser of the article with a link where you can read the full post. Enjoy today’s article on “How to Be There for Your Teen While Also Giving Space”.
You may or may not know by now that I hold a strong passion for opening communication between teens and parents. Wow oh wow did I push and pull my parents in every possible direction as a teen. “I need you” … “No, get away” … it must have been so incredibly confusing for them! But I couldn’t help it, I was an emotional roller coaster.
I was confused to the max about the pressures I felt surrounding me. Who did I want to be? How did I want to show up in the world? I constantly analyzed how others showed up and compared myself to them. I fell flat on my face a LOT, but I was trying to grow into an adult and it was damn hard!
Through my writings about “A Teen From Lost to Found”, I actually get quite a few parents sending me private messages asking for help. I have never, nor will ever, claim to know the answers. I’m not even a parent yet. But, I did go through that horrible growing stage more recently and I can bring some insight into what I needed. It may or may not work for all parents, but I do believe it will work for some.
Today I have chosen to share some of these insights into teen-parent communication. I would love to know your thoughts and feedback!
The big question always seems to be, “I can tell my son or daughter is pulling away. I want to prove I’m here for anything he/she needs, but I also want to give him/her space to be where they need to be right now. How do I balance this?!?”
I can tell you that for me, all I needed to know was my mom was there IF I needed her. Now, I tried to be tough, but I knew she was there. I spent a lot of time locked in my room listening to rock music or rap music. I spent a lot of time crying or feeling depressed.
The DAY I graduated high school I started to snap out of it. High school was an awful experience for me only because I didn’t feel like I fit in anywhere. I didn’t feel accepted and I don’t think I wanted to be. Once I graduated and started college I was free and I felt free. It wasn’t long before I totally and completely let my parents in and we’ve been extremely close ever since. I’ve actually just recently moved to Arizona to make up for lost time and be with them for a few years!
So, what does it mean to “be there”…
- Ask questions. “How was your day?” “Any struggles you want to talk about?” “If you could pinpoint the biggest hurt/insecurity/fear/emotion, what would it be?”