“I’m negative more and more lately… I cry because I don’t know what else to do… I can’t seem to snap out of it… I’m not happy (though I know I have reason to be)… I’m so disappointed in myself that I can’t seem to find motivation to fix how I feel… I reach out and tell people how I feel but nothing changes – if anything, I just feel worse…”
Sound familiar? If not, congratulations, you’re in a better place than most people I’ve been talking with recently. And I am sincere in wishing you congratulations – we must take notice when we are “up” and be proud of our accomplishments. I do not mean to start a post in such a downer way – but I do intend to finish it with positivity and motivation.
You see, lately I’ve been approached by more than a few struggling souls. They’ve all reached out saying the above and it just breaks my heart, but, I too have been there in my life. All I can do is relate, lend a supportive hand and lead by example. Since this wave of emotion has come my way, I’ve really tried to analyze what’s happening to cause such shame in people. What breaks my heart the most is that these people are GREAT people! They have so much to give the world, yet see themselves as nothing more than a giant failure. They have more confidence that they will fail again that they can’t even see the possibility of opportunity or success.
If this pattern is something you’ve just noticed in yourself then today’s post is for you. I wanted to share 3 Action Steps for Snapping Out Of It:
- If you find yourself being negative and ripping yourself to shreds lately, the first and most necessary step is to list 3 things you truly love about yourself. Don’t roll your eyes! I know this WILL be difficult and not something to take lightly. I want you to really check in with yourself – what do you see? What is unique about you? What have others noticed in you? As you think about these 3 things… I want you to go into detail. If you like that you help others… HOW do you help others – how do you show up – when do you show up – and why?After you’ve completed the above exercise you should hopefully feel that you are not a complete failure anymore – because YOU’RE NOT! It is ok and natural to get down and review who you are, but it is not ok to let that negative emotion spin out of control into a place where you can’t snap out of it. Immediately phone a friend or ask for help if you don’t think you can pull yourself up.
- Once you feel that ounce of hope enter into your heart again, you’re well on your way! The next Action Step I’d suggest is to find some motivation out there. Don’t roll your eyes! When I am down, I will often Google “Tony Robbins” and watch a video of him speaking. The most recent one I watched was, “Why we do what we do, and how we can do it better” and can be found below. It was fantastic! That’s usually all it takes for me now since I’ve conditioned my mind not to be down for long periods of time – life is much more enjoyable, and for longer, this way. So find a little motivation out there and keep going until you are starting to feel empowered again.
- My last Action Step suggestion for you is to set a manageable goal or two. Don’t roll your eyes! (Seeing a pattern?) Some people will start by “I’m going to workout every day next week!” That’s an awesome goal, but not realistic in my mind. How about you start with working out twice this week. If you hit that goal, try three times the next week. Work your way up to your ideal goal – otherwise you are just setting yourself up for failure… then you will feel like a failure… and the pattern repeats.
We must learn to be a little easier on ourselves. It is great to set high goals, great to push yourself and great to expect more. It’s also great to not beat yourself up over every little mistake or for falling short. The more you learn to nurture yourself the happier you will be long-term.
If you have any Action Step suggestions that you’d like to share, I would invite you to please add a comment below. Everybody learns and grows differently and I wouldn’t ever suggest that my way is the “right way”. So let me know your thoughts or please share this post and help a friend!