Blog - A Conscious Choice with Teen and Parent Mentor Amber Ludwig-Vilhauer

Classic: “I don’t need to talk about it…”

Classic: “I don’t need to talk about it…”

Have you ever caught yourself in the middle of a shame spiral searching Facebook on who you can chat with, scrolling your phone for that “right person” to call who will comfort you, yet no one seems to be that “right person”? You’re fidgety, frustrated and your whole body is tight. Then you tell yourself, “Well, I don’t NEED to talk about it, it would just be nice.”

If you are identifying with this, then let this be a message that cautions you. This process happens when something (or things) is brewing deep inside you. You are like a volcano about ready to blow. Tears emerge, but you are trying to be “strong” so maybe only one falls. You know you’re on dangerous grounds but you test it, tease it and think you can overcome this power brewing in you.

False. Sorry to break that thought – but deep down you already […]

More

25 Quick Ways to Calm Down When You’re Stressed

25 Quick Ways to Calm Down When You’re Stressed

Ah, we know the signs all too well. Our bodies get warmer, a headache is triggered, our hands get stiff and we find ourselves reacting to just about anything. Stress can be caused from any of a zillion different ways.

Finding quick ways to change directions and calm down can be HUGELY beneficial for your health and happiness.

Below you will find a list of 25 quick ways to calm down when you start to feel stressed. These tips come from a variety of sources – some friends – some from me – some from doctors and writers.

When you feel stress coming on, scan this list, do 1 method, do them all! But whatever you do, try to relax – then get to the root of your stress and work it out.

Walk away from the situation you’re in (work, a fight with your partner, etc.) for just a minute. Go into […]

More

Q&A: Bad Relationships, Our Need to Feel Appreciated and How to Overcame Those Obstacles

Q&A: Bad Relationships, Our Need to Feel Appreciated and How to Overcame Those Obstacles

I received a question from a reader named Amanda. I wrote back a long response to her question but found her email address to not be a working address. So, I open this up to all of you in hopes that Amanda finds the answer she was looking for…

Amanda’s Question:
“I toppled across your website this afternoon and started reading your blogs; they are truly inspirational. I was curious.. in one of your blogs you talked about how sometimes our need to fill appreciated can keep us in bad relationships far too long. I wanted to see if you had a blog talking about your bad relationships and how you overcame those obstacles. Thanks!”

My Response:
Good morning Amanda! Thank you for the kind words – this is why I keep going and do what I do. I always said if it impacted even one person – it was all worth it. 🙂

I […]

More

Your Call To Action: Help Me Influence Teens in a Positive Way

Your Call To Action: Help Me Influence Teens in a Positive Way

Thank YOU for all of your comments and feedback on this site so far! There are few things more rewarding in this world than showing up just as you were meant to, spreading messages to others who search for answers. This is exactly the purpose of this site. It is my ultimate hope we can make this a community site – an interactive site. We have an opportunity to truly create something special. AND, I ultimately want to bring Teenagers into this space. There is so much we can do to influence them in a positive way. Won’t you help me?

Ways you can help – your call to action:

Share Your Story: Whatever you feel to share about your past, present, or future desires. Stories are the easiest ways to teach and relate to one another. You can Share Your Story by clicking here now »
Add comments: Subscribe to this […]

More

Are You Paying Attention?

Are You Paying Attention?

There sure is a lot out there to distract us, isn’t there? I talk to more people that feel they are barely staying above water with all they have to do, than people who feel relaxed about life. On my constant quest to understand life and make the most of it, I ponder this idea – what are we paying attention to?

I fear we are paying attention to our debts, our never-ending stack of work, our fears over the “end of the world” scares, our stresses that there is never enough time, how tired our bodies feel. It is easy to get stuck in a thought pattern like this because the reality is, we are simply overwhelmed with the changes of the world. We are learning to adapt to a new way of living. And “adapt”, we must do.

On May 21 […]

More

Part 1 of 4: What Key Things Did I Learn to Get Me Where I Am Today

Part 1 of 4: What Key Things Did I Learn to Get Me Where I Am Today

In the next 4 posts I am going to share with you 4 key lessons I learned to help me grow into the person I am today…

One, I listened to my Gut.

I’ve learned that if I trust my head and thoughts, I’ll not arrive at the destination I want. Your mind plagues you with “What If” questions. What if they don’t like me, what if I fail, what if they say no… what if I make the wrong decision. You can’t really trust too many mind-based solutions because you are merely guessing your way through the decision.

I’ve also learned that if I trust my heart only, I’ll still not arrive at the destination I want. Your heart is full to the brim with emotion and sensitivity – whether you realize it’s potential or not. Emotion will lead you astray because we all want to feel loved and good […]

More

What I Am SO Grateful For – Part One

What I Am SO Grateful For – Part One

I’ve been awake about an hour and I’m already filled with an unmatched happiness and peace. I couldn’t do another thing until I told you what I was feeling. The past five days have completely blown me away…

To get started, I must tell you about my pre-Thanksgiving travel experience. A few weeks ago I bought my plane tickets home to Tucson, leaving Wednesday (the 24th) at 9pm and coming back Saturday. I originally got the late Wednesday flight because my aunt was coming in to town and I was going to spend the day with her and my cousin. She got caught in a nasty Utah snow storm and I found out the day before my flight she was not going to be able to travel here – the freeways would shut down.

This opened up the opportunity for me to come home a little early which I desperately craved. […]

More

Introducing the Power of Eckhart Tolle via Oprah

Introducing the Power of Eckhart Tolle via Oprah

Some of you may remember this worldwide web event where Oprah interviewed Eckhart Tolle based on his book A New Earth. Over 130 countries were in attendance for the first show and the audience count continued to soar over this 10-week series.

Oprah says, “This is the most exciting thing I’ve ever done. I’ve done a lot of things in my life but I am most proud of the fact that all of you have joined us in this global community to talk about what I believe is one of the most important subjects and presented by one of the most important books of our time. A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.”

I read this book months before the webinar was even being promoted. Lines and lines and lines are underlined and highlighted (which I rarely do to books). This truly is one of the most powerful books of […]

More

From Alone, to Asking for Help, to Growth

From Alone, to Asking for Help, to Growth

I have found people rarely admit they need help even when they are desperate for it. There have been times in my life that I felt so terrified of life and its outcomes. One of my greatest outlets in high school was a journal. I wrote day after day trying to release all of the loneliness, hurt, anger and depression I felt.

August 3rd, 2000 – “My heart is heavy and the doors are closed. My my mind remains empty of thought. I have been tangled in the veins of reputation. Why are these veins choking me so tightly? Who will give me the answers I need to heal my soul of this darkness? I have been looking for people to be here in my time of pain, but no one has responded.”

After looking back on all of the suffering that now seems unfamiliar, […]

More

Being Critical of Yourself Will Get You Nowhere

Being Critical of Yourself Will Get You Nowhere

Do you look in the mirror and have thoughts about how your hips are too big, your acne is ugly, your hair isn’t perfect, your stomach isn’t flat enough, your _________? Or do you feel not good enough to have a relationship with your crush, not good enough to achieve good grades, not good enough to _________?

Women especially have a hard time accepting themselves. When I was 22 I was given the greatest gift. I was made aware that my whole life I had been replaying this message in my mind and heart that I am not good enough. I could see so clearly how this negatively affected my relationships, school work, career, friendships and more.

ANY time you are being critical of yourself, you are reducing your chance for a happy, successful, fulfilling life. If you believe in yourself, others will believe in you. If you don’t like who you […]

More