Blog - A Conscious Choice with Teen and Parent Mentor Amber Ludwig-Vilhauer

Time to Grow Again: The Messengers, How I Take Advice from Others and Coming Out OK On the Other Side

Time to Grow Again: The Messengers, How I Take Advice from Others and Coming Out OK On the Other Side

With the ebb and flow of life comes periods of time where we are in deep conflict; when two long roads are in front of us and we are desperate to figure out which one we should choose. It is natural to turn to our closest friends and family – always the ones who will judge us least and who usually offer sound advice. I have been at such a place many times in my life and I expect to be there many, many more times ahead.

Over the past ten years, I believe I have figured out a pretty solid plan when stuck and seeking answers. Today I wanted to share some of the strategies I implement when facing the “abyss”.

The first thing I’ll usually do is get out of my own way as much as possible. When the first signs of stirring come up inside me – the days […]

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Part 3 of 4: What Key Things Did I Learn to Get Me Where I Am Today

Part 3 of 4: What Key Things Did I Learn to Get Me Where I Am Today

This is a continuation of the series on 4 key lessons I learned to help me grow into the person I am today…

The third lesson is I listen to my “messengers”.

There have been so many random people that have crossed my path to tell me something simple that ended by having a huge impact on my day, month, or even life. For instance, on my 21st Birthday my mom took my sister and me to Las Vegas. Most of my birthdays have not turned out very well for some reason, so she wanted me to have the perfect birthday.

We stayed in a suite at the Bellagio and the three of us had the time of our lives. The day after my Birthday we were walking down the strip together to go to Margaritaville for lunch. I was not very perky that morning […]

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When People Don’t React the Way You’d Hoped…

When People Don’t React the Way You’d Hoped…

At least a few major times in everyone’s lives, disappointment creeps in. We have great news, hit an accomplishment, got a good result and can’t wait to share the details – always first with the person we think will be most excited or proud of us.

That person, at that one point in time, for whatever reason, ends up disappointing you. They don’t fully listen; they say “good job” but then follow immediately with something negative or pessimistic; they just don’t show up the way you hoped they would.

Immediately your bright and energetic excitement turns into a dull cloudy hurt. It has happened. It will continue to happen. Most importantly, we can try to get new perspective on the situation so the low’s aren’t quite so low.

One reason people can’t fully engage in your excitement is because they are not feeling excited in their own lives. Consider all of the stress […]

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Depressed? Angry at the World? It’s Natural.

Depressed? Angry at the World? It’s Natural.

The following was a piece I wrote at age 22, looking back on all the dark moments of my teenage life. Wishing for happiness and to just be ‘normal’ again…

I have paused, feeling rage, during many vulnerable times throughout my journey and thought, “I don’t want to grow anymore! I don’t want to learn. I just want to be at peace, and live my life.” In some moments of despair we question if we are even strong enough to survive our current tragedies. Every time I thought I was at a dead end in my life, unable to grasp onto any part of my True Self that would help me gain sanity, I would find a small break. A break that would give me the faith and courage necessary to keep moving and find the greater Truth of why life is the way it is, […]

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Truth: Your Ultimate Ally

Truth: Your Ultimate Ally

We know… deep in our gut what our Truth is. We ultimately can’t deny it. We can try to cover it up, justify it, hide from it – but it will come back to us one way or another. Only you can know what your Truth is. The question is, what are you going to do with it?

When we hurt – over a career change, a relationship loss, a deep questioning from within – we tend to lose ourselves and that Truth momentarily. Your mind starts playing “what if” games with you… “What if I don’t get another job?” “What if he was the love of my life?” “What if I never come back from this change?”

You will. You have every tool inside of you to handle whatever is plaguing you with doubt and fear. You have been prepared your whole life for this. The answers are within. You just […]

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What Has to Be In Place to Attract Your “Other”?

What Has to Be In Place to Attract Your “Other”?

Read my latest personal growth message posted as an expert author on the Conscious Divas website. Below is a teaser of the article with a link where you can read the full post. Enjoy today’s article on “What Has to Be In Place to Attract Your “Other”?”

“Starting at very early ages we all become elated at the idea that our soul mate or significant other is out there somewhere – we just have to find him/her. Attending weddings, watching romantic movies and hearing stories of how lovers met… it all solidifies this feeling inside of us – our desire to meet our match.

The process isn’t an easy one as you probably know by now. We have such high hopes starting with our early-year relationships. The more experience we have – the more relationship partners – the more complex it all becomes. I know plenty of people that have baggage from […]

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A Must-Read Blog Series by Paul Hendricks

A Must-Read Blog Series by Paul Hendricks

This isn’t a cop-out on writing, but rather a very valuable tip to help you along your Journey. Many of you remember Paul Hendricks from the story he shared titled, “Best-Selling Author Paul Hendricks’ Story of Self-Destruction: From Lost to Found“. It is still one of the most top-read pages on this website and deserves that popularity!

You also probably know by now that Paul and I really boost each other up. We have grown to really respect what each other does for their communities. His beautiful wife Diane is just as amazing too! It makes me want to move to Hawaii just to soak them up.

Paul has his own blog and just started a series titled “BE-ing ALOHA is the Fastest Way to Manifest Your Dreams!” The first post was Tuesday, the second was Wednesday. AMAZING.

Check out this excerpt:

“Over the next few days, I am going to share […]

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Being Critical of Yourself Will Get You Nowhere

Being Critical of Yourself Will Get You Nowhere

Do you look in the mirror and have thoughts about how your hips are too big, your acne is ugly, your hair isn’t perfect, your stomach isn’t flat enough, your _________? Or do you feel not good enough to have a relationship with your crush, not good enough to achieve good grades, not good enough to _________?

Women especially have a hard time accepting themselves. When I was 22 I was given the greatest gift. I was made aware that my whole life I had been replaying this message in my mind and heart that I am not good enough. I could see so clearly how this negatively affected my relationships, school work, career, friendships and more.

ANY time you are being critical of yourself, you are reducing your chance for a happy, successful, fulfilling life. If you believe in yourself, others will believe in you. If you don’t like who you […]

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How to Be There for Your Teen While Also Giving Space

How to Be There for Your Teen While Also Giving Space

Read my latest personal growth message posted as an expert author on the Conscious Divas website. Below is a teaser of the article with a link where you can read the full post. Enjoy today’s article on “How to Be There for Your Teen While Also Giving Space”.

You may or may not know by now that I hold a strong passion for opening communication between teens and parents. Wow oh wow did I push and pull my parents in every possible direction as a teen. “I need you” … “No, get away” … it must have been so incredibly confusing for them! But I couldn’t help it, I was an emotional roller coaster.

I was confused to the max about the pressures I felt surrounding me. Who did I want to be? How did I want to show up in the world? I constantly analyzed how others showed up and compared […]

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