Blog - A Conscious Choice with Teen and Parent Mentor Amber Ludwig-Vilhauer

What’s In the Relationship Secret Sauce?

What’s In the Relationship Secret Sauce?

It worries me to see so many broken relationships. The question everyone seems to be asking themselves is, “What happened?” Back in the day when divorce rates were low… was that because people stayed together even when they were miserable? Or did they have it all figured out and somehow the secret didn’t get passed down from generation to generation? I can’t claim to be an expert on relationships but I do think I have some good insights for you today.

There’s a great song by Gavin DeGraw called “Follow Through”. I was listening to it the other day and it made me think – it really is about following through, isn’t it? In a relationship if there are broken promises, unfulfilled intentions – I have to believe this causes separation.

In relationships if you’re not growing together you’re growing apart. This is SUCH a delicate balance and one that must be […]

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The 21 Reasons Why I Love You

The 21 Reasons Why I Love You

Today’s post is from ‘anonymous’ who wrote this for their relationship partner. I decided to add this in for two reasons. One, it’s important that we take time out of our busy schedules to think about why we care about the people we surround ourselves with. Two, because it’s equally important that we take time to express our feelings to others – whether family, friends or relationship partners. It can really strengthen a relationship and remind both parties why this relationship is so important. I would love to hear your thoughts after reading…

The 21 reasons why I love you and ‘just know’…

I love you because you take the time to really understand who I am.
Because I feel safer knowing you’re in my life.
Because you always show up when I need you most.

I love you because you never cease to make me smile or laugh.
Because you find ways to […]

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Get Your Motivation Here: The Secret to You

Get Your Motivation Here: The Secret to You

Need a little motivation today?

We all wake up sometimes and just feel a little off. Maybe you try to do some soul-searching to see what the problem is, or maybe you shrug it off and try to ignore that quiet whispering. I do a little of both, but also try to read or watch something that will give me the confidence and motivation I need to have a kick-ass day.

Here is my secret to feeling empowered and ready to take the day on:

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What Are Your Defense Mechanisms?

What Are Your Defense Mechanisms?

Defense mechanism behaviors that have worked for you in the past
may not fit you anymore and need to change.

We all have defense mechanisms that we’ve developed over time, often without being aware of it. In times of trouble, the behaviors that have worked to get us past challenges with the least amount of pain are the ones that we repeat; even when part of us knows they no longer work. Such behavior is a natural response from our mental and physical aspects. But because we are spiritual beings as well, we have the ability to rise above habits and patterns to see the truth that lay beyond. And from that moment on, we can make choices that allow us to work directly from that place of truth within us.

Most of our defense mechanisms were developed in childhood; from the moment that we realized crying would get us the attention […]

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Part 3 of 4: What Key Things Did I Learn to Get Me Where I Am Today

Part 3 of 4: What Key Things Did I Learn to Get Me Where I Am Today

This is a continuation of the series on 4 key lessons I learned to help me grow into the person I am today…

The third lesson is I listen to my “messengers”.

There have been so many random people that have crossed my path to tell me something simple that ended by having a huge impact on my day, month, or even life. For instance, on my 21st Birthday my mom took my sister and me to Las Vegas. Most of my birthdays have not turned out very well for some reason, so she wanted me to have the perfect birthday.

We stayed in a suite at the Bellagio and the three of us had the time of our lives. The day after my Birthday we were walking down the strip together to go to Margaritaville for lunch. I was not very perky that morning […]

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Your Call To Action: Help Me Influence Teens in a Positive Way

Your Call To Action: Help Me Influence Teens in a Positive Way

Thank YOU for all of your comments and feedback on this site so far! There are few things more rewarding in this world than showing up just as you were meant to, spreading messages to others who search for answers. This is exactly the purpose of this site. It is my ultimate hope we can make this a community site – an interactive site. We have an opportunity to truly create something special. AND, I ultimately want to bring Teenagers into this space. There is so much we can do to influence them in a positive way. Won’t you help me?

Ways you can help – your call to action:

Share Your Story: Whatever you feel to share about your past, present, or future desires. Stories are the easiest ways to teach and relate to one another. You can Share Your Story by clicking here now »
Add comments: Subscribe to this […]

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Depressed? Angry at the World? It’s Natural.

Depressed? Angry at the World? It’s Natural.

The following was a piece I wrote at age 22, looking back on all the dark moments of my teenage life. Wishing for happiness and to just be ‘normal’ again…

I have paused, feeling rage, during many vulnerable times throughout my journey and thought, “I don’t want to grow anymore! I don’t want to learn. I just want to be at peace, and live my life.” In some moments of despair we question if we are even strong enough to survive our current tragedies. Every time I thought I was at a dead end in my life, unable to grasp onto any part of my True Self that would help me gain sanity, I would find a small break. A break that would give me the faith and courage necessary to keep moving and find the greater Truth of why life is the way it is, […]

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The Gift of Forgiveness and the Power to Move On From Past Hurts

The Gift of Forgiveness and the Power to Move On From Past Hurts

We have all been a part of a situation in the past that to this day, makes us sad or empty inside. Someone said unspeakable things to you, a relationship ended in cheating and lying, a friend/coworker/boss didn’t understand boundaries. And when these events occur, we take blame – even if it was 110% NOT our fault. The memory comes up time and time again. You say you’re over it and you don’t care, but you do.

If this is sounding familiar, you have a hole in your past that must be filled. That hole eats away at us and we find ways to relate it to present and future instances too. Then, it will come the time to forgive… and that hole starts to be filled. All of a sudden, you’ll find yourself remembering it less and less, it won’t have that hold on you anymore, and it becomes just […]

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Now This is How to Celebrate Your Birthday!

Now This is How to Celebrate Your Birthday!

My birthday is this week which made me think back on all the ways I’ve celebrated over the years. I’ve had some pretty incredible moments, but there’s one in particular that stands out as the winner.

Days before my 25th Birthday, I got this idea for a personal way to celebrate my life. I wanted to buy 25 of the brightest and most colorful helium balloons – one for each year of my life. Then I would write my most favorite life memories on some, my hopes for the future on some, and expressions of love an gratitude for people and past moments on the rest. Once finished, I would release all the balloons into the air as a way of releasing the past and unlocking my future.

A few hours before sunset, on the day of my Birthday, I did just that. My mom went with me and we […]

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Part 4 of 4: What Key Things Did I Learn to Get Me Where I Am Today

Part 4 of 4: What Key Things Did I Learn to Get Me Where I Am Today

This is a continuation of the series on 4 key lessons I learned to help me grow into the person I am today…

The fourth lesson is I learn from everyone and everything.

Every second holds the opportunity to grow and become happier with who you are. If someone has experienced something similar to what I am going through at the time I listen intently and learn from their mistakes and their outcomes. That is why I continue to read or go to seminars, or talk to people openly about life.

I figure if I can at least learn one thing from each source it was worth my time and energy. I feel strongly that life will continue to present situations to you until you learn the lesson. Three years ago, I had taken on a LOT of responsibility. It felt like I was […]

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